What's my fault?
by dreamedreality
Summary: Ron is secretly lusting after Draco, but that's not the worst of it. Ron keeps digging up more secrets than he can handle, but uncovering these secrets about others makes it only harder to contain his own. RonXDraco If you don't like boys love don't even read!


This is a Boys Love FanFic, I do not own the characters or setting but I do own the sexy stuff they do together, please enjoy! Rated Mature for cursing and sexual situations! I own nothing but the situations I put J.K Rowling's characters in! Thank you! - dreamedreality PS: When characters are thinking it is in italics!

**Chapter One:**

Ron's eyes seem to move themselves glancing repeatedly to a smooth slender neck. Soft smooth skin running over at jutting collarbone. Plump soft lips slightly pouting, after hearing about Snape's new assignment. Finally noticing where he was looking, he sharply jerked his head forward. It was his hatred for the sexy blond, that seemed the only obstacle keeping him from jumping in Draco's bed.

Ron hated himself for thinking of Draco in such a way. His whole life Ronald had ever only been straight but after seeing Draco for the first time after summer vacation, his body betrayed him. A small whiff of Malfoy's sweet-smelling skin, had Ron's pulse going and body throbbing.

He practiced and practiced controlling himself. Until finally he could walk by Draco and not get a strong urge to force him on the ground, then proceed to fuck his brains out. Harry knew nothing of this, of course. Harry had much more important things to deal with, than his best friend being gay for the biggest asshole in school.

Ron not done wallowing in his own personal problems, didn't notice one of his most prominent issues walk over to his table. Then proceeded to set his very fine ass right on Ron's desk.

"Weasley? Weasley? Are you even awake twit?"

Snapping out of his depressing daydream, Ron only woke up to another nightmare. A much more realistic horror, Draco Malfoy himself.

" What are you doing Malfoy?"

Dracos crystal eyes, rolled in annoyance at Ron's moronic question.

"Snape just asked me to get you out of his classroom! Since there's no one else here Weasley! Even your precious Potter and Granger left, so i think that's your cue to get the hell out!"

Ron realized something he very well knew, his libido was now his most prominent enemy. No longer he who must not be named, No longer Snape, no longer the Slytherin house. This enemy was a serious threat, the threat of raping Draco right here on this table.

"Sheesh, I am oOhh so sorry Malfoy. You didn't have to wake me up anyway, you should have just left me here."

Ron's last words came out harsh and crackling with truth, since he really didn't want Malfoy to be there. Malfoy being there just made Ron's stomach hurt with longing and his headache with very different screaming opinions. Something this annoying and constantly screwing up his life, was of course something he couldn't even share with his best friends. Ron kept his eyes away from Malfoy as much as humanly possible, pushed in his chair quickly. Avoiding their usual bouts and confrontations, instead he walked briskly away. If he had only took one daring glance back at Draco, he would have seen the pang of pain in response to Ron's thorny words .

* * *

"Ron.. Is there something wrong?"

_Yes Harry, actually there's something horribly wrong, and it happens to be me being insanely and painfully attracted to a complete asshole who I fucking hate._

"Nah Harry, There's nothing wrong. I'm just tired is all.."

Ron looked up at Harry smiling brightly as he could, Yawning loudly to go along with his phony statement. Harry raised a questioning eyebrow at the ginger headed boys obnoxious yawning.

"Ron I can tell the difference between you're fake and real yawing. Seriously tell me what's up, I don't want you to go through anything alone alright?";

Ron gave Harry a hug in his mind, thankful for having not just the chosen one as a best friend, but a best mate who actually cared about him. Though he knew Harry had something for his sister, and Ron didn't remember Harry saying anything to him about that. So maybe this situation and Harry and Ginny's situation was like his well… at least in a sense.

"Really Harry, I'm fine okay! You have a lot more important things to be worrying about than me so don't worry okay?"

Ron looked up at Harry again, expecting to see his best friend nodding his head in agreement. Harry wasn't in the chair he had been before, instead he now stood directly next to Ron, glaring at the blue eyed boy.

"Ron, are you kidding me! You don't even understand how much you mean to me and when you spout shit like this!"

"Whoa Harry! Harry! Please calm down okay!"

Harry who had already grabbed Ron's arm and was proceeding to grab the other one, stopped and noticed what he was doing. Ron who had been getting grabbed a lot lately, just thought of these little incidents occurring from Harry's stress. Since when Harry noticed what he was doing, he would normally stop and apologize and get some sleep. This time Harry seemed actually angry, and very conscious of what he was doing. Ron gripped tightly on to Harry's shoulder, looking at him directly into his eyes.

"Please Harry, Calm down okay? It's all good mate.. Really."

The spark of rage in Harry's eyes seemed to cease but it didn't stop the other Gryffindor's chances of hearing their little spout.

The next morning hushed rumors of Harry grabbing Ron in the middle of the night flew around the halls, making girls giggle as the boys walked past. Ron soon got sick of the hushed whispering following him, so he escaped away from his friends and skipped his next class. Sneaking past the guarding teachers he finally escaped outside. Luckily spring would soon be upon them and the air outside was fresh and the winds were warm.

Ron found a shady tree and slumped down under it, caressing the new and soft grass gently with his fingers. Sighing with content, he cleared his mind of everything, even the beautiful Draco was gone as Ron relaxed. Sitting under the shady leaves, and cuddling with the soft grass gave Ron a sense of comfort he had been missing. His eyelids began to grow heavy, and his breaths slowed down to gentle puffs. Soon he fell prey to sleeps gentle caress, not waking up till the fall of night.

Scrambling upright he panicked, he had no idea what time it was, or even if he had already missed curfew. Brushing off grass and dirt he started his way inside, and to his dorm. Luckily he still had time before curfew. _Why can't I be this lucky all the time? _Ron pondered this thought while attempting to walk casually through the halls.

Ron grinned in triumph at his luck, until he was distracted by arguing voices. Stopping in their direction, Ron couldn't help but feel his curiosity peaked. From what he could tell, they were coming from an empty classroom down the hall. The voices sounded angry and frustrated, when Ron heard a large banging sound, he just had to see who they were.

The arguing only increased in volume as Ron approached. The door had a large keyhole, he got on his knees and looked inside at the arguing pair. His eye widened in shock at who was inside. Harry and Draco were in the empty room, there hands grabbing tightly at one another's collars. Eyebrows furrowed and obviously spouting curses at each other.

Ron's immediate response was to kick open the door and get Harry out of there. But something kept him from intervening, something deep down inside tugged at his will and made him stay still and observe. Breathing as slowly and quietly as possible he watched them and leaned closer to hear their conversation.

"Potter I'm done with this game, its fucking stupid. We hate each other and we can't keep lying to ourselves. I'm not going to have sex with you anymore."

_Wait… Wait.. What? What did Draco just say? Did he just say there.. Theree having sex? Malfoy and Harry? My best friend and the guy I dream about every night? _

Ron's breath got caught in his throat and sweat dripped from his face, this couldn't be happening, it must be a joke. Yet he kept looking at the pair, but to his surprise Harry didn't laugh, or get angry instead he looked at Draco with understanding, which made Ron wanna puke.

"I know Draco.. But its better than having no one-"

"No it's fucking not Potter, no matter what you do, you will never be him and I will never be him to you. I told you I'm done pretending, and you should be too."

Ron scrambled up as he saw Malfoy stomping angrily in the direction of the door, Ron did not look back he ran as fast as he could away from them. He kept running, past his dorm, ignoring the calling of his name by friends. He didn't stop until the air cut his throat, making each breath raw and painful. Then he slumped up against a wall, his chest heaving and sweat dripping down his face like tears.

He looked up at the ceiling, staring at nothing. Giving his mind time to process everything he had just overheard. Who was this guy both Harry and Draco were obsessed over? They wanted him so much they were pounding each other as his replacement? How fucking messed up it that!? Harry's Gay? I am his best friend and he couldn't tell me he was screwing Draco? I never told him about me lusting after Draco, but that's totally different than actually having sex with the guy!

_Why Draco… I'm not even jealous, what's there to be jealous of? Not being trusted? Who is this bastard there both after? Should I tell them I know about them? What would they say? Would Harry still want to be my friend? Fuck. These fucking questions are going to eat me alive, there like maggots gnawing at my brain._

Ron stood up brushing not just the dirt off his uniform, but all the feelings whirling through him. Breathing deeply a few times, he straightened himself up, fixed his tangled winded hair. Then he cleared his mind.

_I will never tell them I know. I can't. I won't. I will just keep smiling, but this is not for their sake. But mine. I am going to be just as selfish as them, they don't even deserve to know that I know. That I could have been there for them… my feelings toward Draco need to disappear too. I think I can force my eyes away from him, as long as Imagine him fucking my best friend._

* * *

The next morning Ron went back to the dorm room, still fully clothed in his uniform. With dark circles ringing his groggy blue eyes. Yet he managed to smile with the jokes and laughter about his appearance. Answering questions about where he had been last night with sarcasm.

"I fell asleep outside guys, I'm just lucky nobody caught me out there eh?"

Ron saw Harry eyeing him with concern, but Ron smiled largely at him. The smile was genuine, and Harry couldn't help but crack one back.

"Ron go get some fresh clothes on before we go to breakfast or Hermione's going to have a fit."

Ron smirked and nodded heading for their corner of the room, Harry followed him. While Ron unbuttoned his shirt, Harry leaned in and whispered, causing Ron to shiver at the sudden contact.

"Ron you look like hell! What happened last night?"

Ron's brow furrowed, restraining the urge to tell Harry that it was his fault in the first place. Instead he made himself sound sleepy but also happy.

"Its nothing Harry. I just felt really tired after skipping class yesterday, and the grass was so warm, by the time I woke up it was morning. I must have been more tired than I was letting on haha."

Harry ruffled Ron's hair, grinning but saying nothing. Ron smiled too, but not for the reason Harry thought. Ron was smiling because he was pulling off the perfect ruse, he had come up with a plan all last night. Which was now going to fall into play.

Ron wanted more than anything to know who the guy was making both Harry and Draco ( Of all People) suffer this much. He wanted to find the guy, then go ahead and bash his face in with a freaking tire iron. Okay, maybe not that violent.. But it would be bad!

Ron couldn't help but be in a good mood while imaging what horrible things he would do to the guy making two of his most important people suffer. Humming all the way to the great hall, his friends laughed at his good mood, but Ron knew their was nothing funny about it. His palms itched to know who it was.

Sitting down he told jokes while stuffing his face with food, while chugging down a glass of milk he felt eyes on him. Looking up from his breakfast into those crystal eyes, Ron spit his milk across the table into a poor first years face.

Oh shit, was he just looking at me? No no… Draco wouldn't actually look at me like that.

"AHH why did you do that Ron!"

"Oh man, I'm sorry It just.. I don't know, I'm sorry!"

Everyone who had burst into laughter at the milk splatter stopped laughing after hearing the apology. Ron's voice came out panged with so much regret and feeling, it seemed like the apology was about something different altogether.

"Um its okay Ron, I already cleaned it up! Now your making me feel bad haha.."

Some tense laughter followed and everyone turned back to murmuring side conversations. Harry and Hermione looked at Ron, questioning his apology but felt reassured after he smiled at them.

I can't react to Draco like that anymore, especially in front of everyone like that.. Bloody Hell he shouldn't look at me like that! I know I used.. I used to look at him like that but not anymore. I can't because I know something I was never supposed to know.

Ron stuffed more food in his mouth, giving a cautious glance back from Draco to Harry. Gulping painfully while imaging them in a romantic embrace. Ron's throat itched to ask questions, but he knew there would be a time and place for everything.

Ron went to the library alone that evening, giving an excuse to everyone about how he forgot to study for an important potions test. Which was not exactly an "excuse" since in all aspects he hadn't actually studied. But he wasn't planning to now, or probably ever. Ron had other things on his mind, which he needed to be alone for.

Never before had the thought ever crossed his mind that Harry wouldn't be there for him to talk to, about anything. Yet here he was, with no one. Sitting alone in the empty library, flipping through a book while looking at the blurred lines. Stuck with enough inner turmoil to make his head explode.

At first he thought up many plans to get them to admit a relationship, but when he actually thought about it. None of them would actually work outside the realms of his mind. Also he caught himself thinking too much about Draco, making him turned on which was only more distracting. Luckily Harry having sex with Draco was enough to calm him down, just imaging them together made Ron ill. Why did it have to be Harry? Was the most prominent question so far. This also failed to be answered.

After forty minutes of pretending to read while thinking, Ron lay his head on the table in defeat. Breathing in puffs, he began lulling himself to sleep. Before he could completely fall into his fantasy world, the stomping of new people entering the library awoke him. Ron didn't move from his relaxed position, but his eyes were wide and his ears were listening. The people who entered were speaking in hushed and frantic whispers. When they came closer was only when Ron could catch pieces of conversation.

"What happened with -" Ron couldn't catch the name since they said the names in an even smaller whisper. But the answer the question was much louder. " They say he has a huge crush on her" Ron wondered who they were gossiping about, but he wouldn't have to wonder after much longer. "ah my god he actually just walked in! I hope he didn't hear us!"

Ron felt his nerves tingle in pleasure at the presence who just entered the room. Ron groaned softly into the table, Draco had just entered the library. Seriously, and that's who they were talking about…_Yeah I don't think he is after any girls mind you._

Feeling the urge to flee before anything else horrible could occur, Ron looked up to make the safest route out. Feeling the swirling of intense emotion uppercut him in the jaw, Ron found himself looking directly into Draco's beautiful eyes.

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit._

Happened to be the only thoughts in Ron's mind after calming himself down and healing his mental wounds. Draco looked at Ron with disgust, as usual. But instead of blowing him off, he did what Ron had been fearing, he spoke with him.

"Weasley if your going to sleep at least do it in your own God Damn room."

_If you weren't fucking my best friend, and I didn't find you secretly gorgeous, I would probably have to kill you_.

"Thanks for the advice Malfoy, I'll really take it to heart.."

Draco scoffed at Ron's sarcasm, but if Ron took a closer look he would see something else other than anger in those glass blue eyes. Something spiked with hunger beyond anything Ron had ever experienced, a beast clawing to escape. Hungry for the warmth of another, locked away deep inside Draco Malfoy's very being.

Yet there in the dark lit library, Ron felt an intense attraction to something within Draco. Maybe he felt attracted to that beast which he lacked, he had a uncurious urge to satisfy the hunger of others. Being said, by all means Draco was starved, and begging to be fed.

As Ron stood up to leave, their shoulders brushed. Sparking hormones beyond either ones control. Enough so they had to turn back and gaze at each other with surprise. Quickly they looked back, without another word headed their separate ways. Still shivering at the contact of a single brush.

Ron grinded his teeth as he walked up stairs, forcing dirty thoughts out of his mind. Draco would have to wait, finding out why Draco and Harry got together was more important. Or so Ron convinced himself was the case…

To be continued in chapter two! Thank you for reading your the best!


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